Another “if I had a dollar for every time” statement. It’s amazing how wrong we have this concept - time does NOT heal all wounds. Picture this- you’re a kid outside playing with your sibling or best friend from next door. You guys are having a good old time and you fall in the midst of the fun and games and break your arm. Or— alternate twist — that friend turns out to be a jerk and pushed you off your bike -and thus you break your arm. What’s supposed to heal that? Time ? Just wait long enough and it goes away ? Um- no. You go to the hospital and get it set, stitched, maybe a sling, or a cast - maybe some physical therapy down the line. But clearly - your mom wouldn’t run out to your screaming self and say “there there just wait a couple months - it will be good as new!”
Your heart is that arm.
Abuse, neglect, repeated hurt and disappointment from those you trust, traumatic events, deaths in the family etc. etc. leave a mark, they break something on the inside, and even if the one who hurt you didn’t mean to (scenario #1) or you’ve even had a little therapy or a psych class or two and can understand why the abuser abused (they didn’t know better, they were abused too, they were drunk ….) does not change the simple fact - something got damaged and it needs intentional expert repair. It does not just go away.
So if you are finding yourself reliving past hurts, getting repeatedly triggered by a certain someone or you can’t quite “get over” something that’s happened- chances are, it’s time to set up a therapy appointment. Don’t rely on time, rely on truth. Processing the memory is key. This includes, for some, taking the time to walk through that experience with a trusted professional who will navigate the painful recollections with you, identify the damage done and how it’s playing out in your today, and give you tools to experience forgiveness, healing, and actual relief. In other words, let’s stitch that heart wound, put on some healing salve, maybe a sling is needed briefly, but that comeback is something incredible when the wholeness is legit — not just assumed.
No more walking wounded or presumed well-being, take the time to make SURE it is truly well with your soul.