Click HERE to read part 1
Oh man. This is probably going to be a theme with Christians who work in ministry forever. The shift from working with to working for the Lord is such an imperceptible and often cyclical challenge that I can’t even trust that my best efforts to address it here will really do the trick. I know the title of this blog addresses specifically physical well being but that could also be swapped out with family time, much needed financial planning, doctors appointments etc. I cannot say this enough- being in full time ministry (or any full time employment) should never be in place of taking care of you and your family. God does everything decently and in order - with balance. He wouldn’t bless you with kids and then put you in a position where you never see them. He wouldn’t bless you with a spouse and then set you up to have them struggling to ignore the advances of others because you’re so completely MIA. And He absolutely would not approve of you ignoring blaring bodily warning signs - all in the name of serving Him! What honor does He get when your kids don’t know you, your spouse is sleeping in another room, and you have kidney stones or ulcers from lack of proper nutrition or self care? I’ll answer that- ZERO!
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m aware that ministry life, or any full time employment, is not a walk in the park for anyone. It’s demanding, it’s not always predictable, it pulls on you mentally, emotionally, spiritually, socially and physically. And it’s not always possible to lock it into a comfy 9-5 everyday. BUT, at the end of the day, it is imperative that you recognize the end points of your day, your week, your year, and factor in time to pause, to get away, to shut down and disconnect. If you don’t schedule it, it’s not happening. Jesus doesn’t need you awake and working 24/7- He is the ONLY one who never slumbers or sleeps.
”Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.“ 1 Corinthians 7:5 NIV
Hey married folks! The Bible is literally saying stay regularly intimate - don’t let too much time pass between you and your spouse being closely connected - and even then only when you both agree to it - because it opens up the window for other issues. So if you’re too busy to have time to truly connect with your spouse or family, you’re just too busy.
”He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.” Psalms 23:2-3 NIV
I think it’s funny that it reads “he MAKES me lie down…” Jesus as our good good Shepherd leads us to places of refreshing and makes us pop a squat and be still. We need to recognize when God is commanding a pause and take the time to be refreshed in our souls.
I have worked with many clients and church friends that have suffered from health emergencies only to later admit, while hospitalized, they had symptoms prior they just ignored in order to not miss their meetings/ obligations / responsibilities for church. I’ve listened first hand to my own husband, a textbook PK, recall various nights and weekends without his parents who were out trying to fulfill all of their ministerial obligations from a sincere place of duty and commitment, without realizing they were missing prime time with their sons. God knows our hearts and we’re just trying to be good little soldiers — but even they take leaves and get breaks!
Let’s just map out a simple sample plan to begin to assess how healthy of a situation you’re in:
Are you current with all MD appointments/follow-ups & physicals?
Are you getting 30 mins of exercise 3-5 days a week?
Are you taking at least annual vacations with your family, and one date night a month with your spouse ?
Are you able to shut off your many screens and sleep peacefully 6-8 hours a night ?
If you’re a pastor- are you able to take at least one Sunday a quarter off if you needed to and ensure there’s a strong back up teacher for your absences ? Or so you can just sit and receive?
Are you able to have your own Jesus time/ devotion time daily?
If you have kids - when was your last quality time with them? If they’re involved in activities - are you able to attend at least ¾ of their events ? ( I understand I’m talking to some traveling speakers or those in our public arenas with very non traditional schedules)
I won’t even get into diet/nutritional questions. But I assume you get the idea. If the answer is no to any of these - time to make some changes. The enemy is waiting for any opportunity to destroy your good and Godly intentions and undermine your purpose. Refuse to make it easy for him!
I am a married full time working mom of 2 little ones. Sometimes it seems impossible to get anything completely done 100%. There’s always someone crying, needing to be changed, one more email or phone call as a business owner- and I try to stay very conscious of how long it’s been since my husband and I had uninterrupted quality time. It’s a LOT. Somewhere in there I need to eat and have time with Jesus ! So how do I do it ? I have to remember no two days are alike and I keep loose expectations. I enter each day with the good intentions and efforts towards being present: listening to a sermon while in the car, praying as I drop the oldest to school, focus at work and do one task at a time. When it’s quitting time - refuse to check email until I’m back on the clock. My husband and I created a tag team time for our workouts - he goes first while I enjoy/ survive time with the girls (depends on the day!) then when he’s home he tags me in- sometimes all I have is 20-30 minutes before it’s bath and bed time for the girls but I concentrate and give it my best effort whether it’s a quick run, a workout video off YouTube or a walk outside with weights in my hand for added resistance! Then after we wind them down - could be 30 mins to an hour and a half depending how wiped out they are - my husband and I try to put on a lighthearted cooking show on Netflix watching professionals make things we would dare not attempt, and we laugh and cuddle our way to sleep. But guess what? Tomorrow could go entirely different! So I have to just stay in today and be proud of today's efforts despite the day's own unknown curveballs. It’s not a perfect science - it’s about consistent effort.
So my friends, take the time, make the time, prioritize, delegate, use those boundaries, set alarms, get real and accountable and address these subtle but deadly holes in your armor. These changes - however small- add up to a more fortified ministry /serving life with decreased odds for burnout and avoidable setbacks.