Sleep peacefully and deeply: a solution for worry and restlessness as a Christian
“In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Psalms 4:8 NIV
Let me start by saying I am not a sleep specialist in any way. Nor have I mastered this perfectly in my life on a daily basis. Some nights are absolutely better than others - between the ebbs and flows of potty training one kid and the second one in mass teething mode, I’m grateful for at least half the week of sleeping straight through undisturbed. I just know that sleeplessness or poor sleep absolutely can impact your mental and physical health in various ways and it’s more than just that you’ll be tired the next day. Poor sleep impacts your mood, metabolism, concentration, and your immune system. I’ve had many clients over the years list a variety of woes and challenges with accomplishing goals and I casually enquire about their sleep and they say “oh it’s terrible!” and continue on to other factors as if those things couldn’t possibly be connected. Let’s just take a brief look at some potential rest-robbers and consider ways to get back to some true replenishment at night. It can make a world of difference in your functioning, capacity towards other areas of desired life improvements, and obviously give you back much needed energy.
Unpack your mental plate - the stillness of night time is usually the unfortunate invitation for all of the unsettled areas of your day, your week, your LIFE, to come rolling in for assessment. Let’s get ahead of this bed time mental gymnastics by …hmmmm scheduling a therapy session :) or journaling to channel those thoughts into a safe external space, or make a list of whatever “to do’s” surface at night to address tomorrow. Maybe make a routine, if you’re married, to unload a bit with your spouse over dinner so by bedtime your slate is mostly clean from the day. But whatever you do, don’t use bed time to try and effectively process and handle those issues - you’re not going to get your best results with the crumbs of your energy at the end of the day.
Turn off the screens - no phones in bed ! (As I write this blog on my phone in my bed ….) but yes, when I am no longer working on this next chapter of my life solely at night post baby feedings, I intend to practice what I preach with renewed gusto! But for real, it’s a horrible habit and it’s a source of SO much sleep disturbance, anxiety and unnecessary stress as you scroll through social media and compare your life to the Jones’ or read that sad news article or end up texting a friend until you’re blurry eyed. Create a tech cut off time and stick to it. We don’t need that media mayhem ALL day long. Preserve time for some good old fashioned (uplifting) book reading, a cross word (on PAPER) or listen to music with eyes closed. Cut the simulation down and create a true mental rest atmosphere.
Don’t eat late - meals are for fuel- no one needs fuel to do nothing! It is both a weight gain / health risk and a sleep stealer to go to bed stuffed. Your last meal should ideally be at least an hour or two before bed so you’ve given your body time to digest and burn some of that fuel and not just sit comfortably around your middle to cause later problems. Not to mention inviting weird late eating dreams, indigestion and heartburn. Swap the late meal for some herbal tea to soothe yourself into rest mode. My go to is typically a nice cold glass of chocolate milk!
Exercise- I know some folks would get more revved up with a workout as part of their evening routine but I’m not recommending some high intensity cardio kickboxing class an hour before bed (although if that is your best sleeping pill then have at it!) but maybe a walk after dinner, or some yoga /stretching. There are bed time friendly workout videos on YouTube - but be sure to actually do your part to get movement and contribute to the tire out factor- especially if you have a sedentary job.
Consider supplements / MD consult - Vitamins are great for health overall. Natural sleep aids can be helpful also as you train your body to adjust to a routine. But always consult with your doctor first to find out what regimen is best for you.
Don’t work in bed - Beds are for sleeping — and your marriage activities— but mostly sleeping! Beds were never meant to become workspaces (or punishment spots for kids ..) You have to protect its most basic purpose and take all other non sleep/intimacy related activities elsewhere so when you DO get in bed you don’t invite mixed signals. So as much as I mentioned reading or crosswords - notice I’m just listing leisure chillaxing things — don’t go get your most complex academic books or some crossword for astrophysicists. Your brain needs to associate your bed with rest only or it won’t know if you’re getting in bed to tackle unfinished work projects or to lay down, cuddle with your dog and knock out shortly. Keep the info. clear so your body memorizes that bed means wind down.
Set the mood - You don’t have to wait until you’re at the spa to love your rest space. If you’re into mood lighting, music, scents, oils, do it all! Set a routine and create your ideal atmosphere for sleep. Sip your tea, brush your teeth, get your favorite fuzzy socks, set your diffuser or lavender mist, put on the sleepy playlist and open to that next page of your book or journal. Then say your prayers, do your meditation and lights out! And tomorrow - do it again! Which leads to the next step.
Be consistent - Don’t set the stage (cut the phone out, have your last meal at 8 so you’re good to go at your desired 10pm bedtime with your journal with soothing music)- to undo it all the next night. Create a sustainable and simple routine for you — and do your VERY best to stick to it. Sleep may elude you at first because you’ve been haphazard for years and your body is not used to this new healthier routine. Give it time to learn a new normal and try not to deviate.
As always - there’s no one size fits all for any of this. If you’re trying all of these things and more and sleep continues to be impossible to get (and you’re not a parent of an infant ..) then absolutely take advantage of a consult with a sleep specialist - there are many agencies out there with this focus, thank God! Just don’t NOT prioritize this thinking it’s normal to lack sleep or it’s not a big deal and you’ll make up for it eventually- NO such thing. Get help, make changes and achieve proper rest!